I Am Me

In unit 1, Individual, we learned all about different psychological evaluation tests that help individuals discover more about themselves. These tests measure how much we truly know about ourselves and the way we function in society. This brought us to our action project, making a self portrait and artist statement about what we've learned about ourselves. We were given free reign of how we wanted to represent ourselves in our self portraits from concrete to completely abstract concepts using whatever medium we wanted. I decided to do a more abstract drawing that shows both the tests I took and my true self. I had mixed feelings when creating this project. On one hand I loved the creative liberty given to us and that we got to share more about ourselves with others. On the other hand it was really hard to express who I am as a whole in a single image. It was challenging and took me a while to decide on an idea for the project. I knew I wanted to incorporate eyes in some way and went from there. In the end it turned out to be something I loved and am extremely proud of, I managed to capture the basics of my essence in this drawing. Please enjoy my self portrait and artist statement below.

TS. "Through the Eyes of Me". 2017. Chicago

"Through the Eyes of Me"
Computer Printing, Sharpie, and Colored Pencils on Card Stock
H 9" x  W 12"

I had taken a multitude of psychological tests in order to have a better understanding of myself. Out of all the tests the two I think represent me most were the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs. In the Enneagram test I ended up being a six, otherwise known as the Loyalist, meaning that I will do anything for what I believe in and for those I care for. Sixes are the committed, security-oriented type and are known to be “reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion.” (“The Loyalist Enneagram Type 6”, 2016). It freaks me out how spot on my test results were. I tend to try and solve problems before they happen and am constantly wary of others and their intentions. The reason being is that I’m afraid to be forgotten and left behind once again; to not have the security and support that I need when life gets tough is terrifying. So when I decide to put my trust into a person or idea I make sure to defend it with all my being. If you ask anyone who is close to me what the most predominant trait I have the answer will always be my loyalty. This is represented by the eyes and the tree. The eyes are the physical representation of my loyalty, one being human while the other being a wolf, an animal that is immensely faithful and that I am compared to quite often. The blue color of the irises is for my true eye color and the color symbolization of devotion. Trees are known to be sturdy, unmoving and to solidify this thought I wrote “security” in Tagalog, my native language. For the Myers-Briggs test I was placed into the ENTP group, which is also called the “debater” or “visionary”. They are “quick, ingenious, stimulating, alert, and outspoken. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems. Adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analyzing them strategically. Good at reading other people. Bored by routine, will seldom do the same thing the same way, apt to turn to one new interest after another.” (ENTP Type, 2016). This is fairly accurate, but not exactly me. The problem with this test was that it was very black and white; there is no grey area. You’re either an extrovert, who thrives off of being action oriented, preferring frequent interaction and getting energy from spending time with people, or an introvert, who prospers from being thought oriented, favoring substantial interaction and receive energy from spending time alone. I am neither of these, instead am an ambivert, a person who exhibits qualities of both introversion and extroversion. I don’t prefer one way of functioning over another, rather I’m a jack of all trades doing well in any situation be it social or secluded setting. To show this I have two different skylines portraying my interactions with my surroundings, twilight for introversion and dawn for extroversion. The silhouettes of the people are manifestations of me and how I can easily blend into each trait.

I looked into other psychological assessments and case studies to gather a better understanding on human and, ultimately, my behavior. I first delved into an unofficial, but quite accurate, assessment: Pottermore. I took the test that places you into a Hogwarts house; I ended up being sorted into Slytherin. Their traits are cunning, ambitious, resourceful, shrewd, loyal, and determined. This strongly backed up my results in the other tests with certain traits being repeated. For instance loyalty makes another appearance due to Slytherins constantly looking out for eachother. Though many believe that being a Slytherin means that you’re evil. This is not true it just so happens to be that there were recently many infamous dark wizards that came from Slytherin, the other houses have had their fair share in producing dark wizards but no one mentions it. Merlin, the most famous wizard ever who was the definition of good, just so happened to be a Slytherin. The Slytherin house is just frequently misunderstood. A case study that we analyzed that connects to the Pottermore test was the Stanford Prison Experiment. Psychologist Philip Zimbardo designed a prison simulation where students played the role of a guard or inmate. The experiment ended early due to the severity the guards treated the inmates, causing them extreme psychological torture. In this case the power the guards believed they held went to their heads despite being picked randomly from the same group as the inmates. Proving that anyone has the potential for evil given the right situation.

The thought process behind my piece was confusing and didn’t have a final form until I finished. I knew that I wanted eyes to be incorporated due to their unique beauty and doors to the soul. From there I figured that a concrete portrait wouldn’t get my whole message across so I went with an abstract piece. Deciding on the medium had been the last big hurdle that needed to be determined before I could let loose my creativity. As a kid I loved to use colored pencils so I opted to go with that. Keeping the tests in mind I filtered through different ideas that I could integrate the eyes that I wanted. Once I thought of a semi-concrete idea I began drawing, but as I continued to draw new ideas kept coming causing me to add something last minute. The colors of everything was decided at the end based off of what I thought would best express both the tests and who I am. When talking to a professional photographer on the process of creating art accompanied by an artist statement she told me this: “Art helps people change the way they look at things without realizing it.” This really made me think about why I created this piece. What view was I exactly trying to change? Eventually I came to this conclusion - go out into the world to learn more about yourself and don’t be afraid to show who you truly are. The world is constantly trying to put people down and make them feel bad and embarrassed about what makes them different. This is causing people to lose touch with themselves. I want people to go express themselves, be unique, and make sure that to have fun while doing it.

Works Cited:

Berkers, E. (2017). Enneagram Tests (free). Retrieved January 18, 2017, from https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/dotest.php

Briggs Myers, I. (n.d.). The 16 MBTI Types. Retrieved January 18, 2017, from http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/the-16-mbti-types.htm

ENTP PERSONALITY (“THE DEBATER”). (2011). Retrieved January 23, 2017, from https://www.16personalities.com/entp-personality

ENTP: The Visionary. (n.d.). Retrieved January 22, 2017, from https://www.truity.com/personality-type/ENTP

Hogwarts houses: Slytherin. (n.d.). Retrieved January 20, 2017, from https://www.pottermore.com/collection/all-about-slytherin

On Ambiverts: Why Distinguishing Between Extroverts and Introverts is Inadequate. (2013, June 08). Retrieved January 23, 2017, from https://www.diplateevo.com/on-ambiverts-why-distinguishing-between-extroverts-and-introverts-is-inadequate/

Sol, M. (2016, November 03). Ambiversion: The Lost Personality Type. Retrieved January 21, 2017, from https://lonerwolf.com/ambivert/

Type Six - The Loyalist. (2016). Retrieved January 19, 2017, from https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-6/

Zimbardo's Stanford prison experiment revealed how social roles can influence our behavior. We look at how it was conducted and what we can learn from it. (n.d.). Zimbardo's Stanford Prison Experiment. Retrieved January 20, 2017, from https://www.psychologistworld.com/influence_personality/stanfordprison.php